Treat Feat

This past week brought with it a playful reminder of what it means to say to yourself I’m worth it. Many struggle with this concept for a variety of reasons. Maybe you have a family or family member that always comes before you. Maybe you’re drowning at work and there simply isn’t enough time in the day. Or maybe it’s just easier to forget about yourself and keep moving forward because the list of things to do continues to grow. 

Whatever the chosen story, it’s not serving in the ways some think. 

There are many moments in the day when it is possible to quickly care for yourself. A breathing exercise can be done at ANY point of the day: in the bathroom, driving in the car, waiting to pick someone up, walking to your next destination, while cooking, etc. 

Breathing is a wonderful way to reward the nervous system, which will reward the body as a whole. 

: Quick Tip :

Make sure the exhale is always longer than the inhale.

The difference can be felt in your heartbeat — inhale/increased heart rate, exhale/decreased heart rate. 

Another idea to express self-worth, in addition to breathing exercises, is any kind of self-care. Getting a massage is on many to-do lists because of the many benefits, yet it’s so easy to put off. To tell yourself it’s not the right time. Your body knows it’s the right time, right now. BOOK IT!

If a massage is too much, do something simple for yourself. Create a before-bed routine to unwind from the day and sleep well. Do some stretching in the morning to prepare your body and let it know the work being done is appreciated. 

And if none of that sounds appealing or even accomplishable, then buy yourself some new undies. 

As a teenage athlete I tended to shred my underwear fairly quickly. When you’re young and most of the shopping is done by mom, it’s not a big deal. But once on your own it quickly becomes real how much mom was spending on that nice-feeling underwear. So, frugality kicks in. 

I was lucky enough to have a family that realized the essentials are called that for a reason. And they can be given as gifts for whatever occasion. I was gifted underwear for my birthday, Christmas, or random, spontaneous times when I was thought of at the store. I’ve had friends recommend underwear brands and toss me a new pair they received in the mail to try them out. I have spent the majority of my life a magnet to fresh underwear. 

Even with the endless underpants blessings, there are still times when I buy myself underwear. I am much more willing to retire a pair into its next phase of use — rags. Or if I’m hiking and happen to tear a hole in the leg, it’s on to the next one.

And the action of buying a new pair of underwear is also the statement I’m worth it.

Yet others have a different approach. Shred it until it looks nothing like the original… or someone tosses it for you. It may be laced with jokes about how the new holes in the material allows one to prepare for bathroom use quicker or that air flow is encouraged, but the core statement is this is not a priority for me.

And we allow that idea to bleed into our perception of self. 

Whether it’s time constraints, financial budgeting, or simply a lack of foresight, it’s easy for self-care to fall to the wayside. Ironically, the best way to care for others is to care for yourself. Showing others that you’re worthy may inspire them to prioritize some self-care or simply a moment to reflect.

My aunt is very good about keeping her routine. She doesn’t allow much of anything to throw her off, and this focus has served her well into older age. My mother, on the other hand, speaks a bit enviously about how nice it must be to think and act in such a way. To be able to prioritize personal needs and make sure, everyday, they are met. It’s a difference in choice.

My aunt knows that if she does a list of things for herself she will not suffer when giving. She has planned herself into the day so that it is easier to be of service.

My mother, on the other hand, loses herself in the act of service. Everyone else comes before any thought of self-care. The dedication is wonderful, but it comes at a cost. And it’s a cost that is felt.

The opportunity that comes with someone’s self-negligence is the ease with which it is to serve them. Since my mother doesn’t take all the steps to care for herself, it is an easy opening to care for her. Pouring some hot water and epsom salt into a foot bath is met with copious amounts of gratitude. Booking a massage with Hannah or Beth is an hour of heavenly carefreeness. Or the time typically spent preparing a meal can, instead, be used to stretch or exercise, and I get to flex my cooking muscles.

But I’m not always there to serve my mom. And so, the importance of self-worth continues on.

The necessity of seeing yourself as worth your own time and care is essential.

It may be the difference between feeling frustration or anger and approaching things with grace. When you feel taken care of it’s easier to give. You’ve taken what you need and it’s time to share.

Our bodies and minds run on systems of exchange. When the scale tips to one side, something needs to be done to encourage equilibrium. Sometimes it’s the little things like a foot bath or a night routine, yet other times it’s a financial investment in yourself. And still other times call for something different.

Regardless of where you are, take the moment to ask what do I need?

It may be as simple as new undies.